Saturday, October 31, 2009

Roomates & painted toenails...

So I was bugging Dexter to paint my toenails the other night, and he kept refusing to do it. Later that night we were watching movies, Gran Torino, which was really good. But then we watched this 80's movie called The Informers. Which was totally ridiculous. I'm not even sure what was going on. Anyways, there was this guy painting a girl's toenails on it, so Dexter tells me if I get my stuff he'll do it for me. I was sooo excited! So I run into the bathroom to get my stuff and then Lance hollars back at me. So I come out and he's got his socks off and goes "can I paint mine?" And I just look at him. But he's like "I've never done it and I want to know how hard it is". So I'm like "um...okay". So I go back to get my stuff and Dexter is like "I want to too".

 So I come back with two different pinks and a red. I paint mine a hott pink and Dexter paints half of his pink and the other half red and then the big toes have the other color stripe. Lance paints his the same only without the stripe. It was extremely hilarious because while I thought I was moving up here and going to have no girls to do this with, I apparently have guys who will do it. I'm laughing my butt off at them because the whole time they're going on about how hard it is. I'm like it's not that hard! But they both have polish everywhere. Lance has it all over his toes and on the floor even. They both are wondering how to get it off of thier toes. So I tell them to take a Q-tip and dip it in the nail polish remover and do it that way. So they start trying to do that and it won't come off very easily. Dexter asks me why it's not coming off very easily and I tell him of course that it is because it's expensive nail polish. So it's going to be on there for a long time. Picture me laughing at two college boys who are a little upset that this is going to be stuck on there for quite some time. The next night our roomate Josh comes home and Lance starts picking on him about his feet smelling and of course he was denying it. So Lance badgers him til he takes his socks off and then i'm like "all of you have to prove it's not your feet so take your socks off" and Dexter takes his off and Josh freaks out.

Josh: Are your toenails painted???

Dexter: Yes. Do you have a problem with it?

Josh: I'm hoping Lulu held you down and did that to you!

Dexter: Nope. I did it on my own. Tell Lance to take his socks off too.

Josh: Not you too!!!

Lance: I'm not taking my socks off.

Josh of course gives up, shaking his head, and goes to bed. I am laughing at all of them.

Who knew guys were so curious about girly stuff?  I'm just the girl to give them an education! Their future wives will thank me...

nail polish & giggles,

Friday, October 30, 2009

Walmart=Only hires people who barely passed High School...

So the other day, let's say it's a Monday, I was at Walmart needing to get my tire fixed before I came home and visited my family. So I park my car in the back and go in the door by the tire place and walk up to the counter. This guy walks up and asks if he can help me and I tell him that I need a patch in my tire and then all of them rotated. He looks at me and goes "I can't help you with that. You'll have to wait out in the garage for that lady to come back in and then she'll help you". Of course I'm a little irritated because honestly how hard could it be for him to write that down and then tell the mechanic? But apparently that is this girl's sole job. So I politely go outside to wait and it takes about half an hour for her to finally come in. Meanwhile this lady with her little boy has been standing behind me and waiting. Then this grandma comes in with her husband and they decide to stand in front of me. So I know they're trying to butt and I'm getting even more irritated. So when she does finally get there she looks at all of us and goes who was first? So I start to say something at the same time this grandma starts too, while her husband beats us both to it and points at me. Of course this grandma looks all kinds of pissed off so I point at the lady behind and say "she's next" just so she can't try to butt in front of her too. So I walk up to her...

Walmart Lady: What can I do for you?

Me:I need my back passenger tire patched and then all of them rotated. Here are the keys and it's the silver grand am. The only one with Illinois plates.

Walmart Lady: Let me go take a look at it.

8 minutes later...

Walmart Lady: Do you know what's wrong with the tire?

Me: It has a hole in it? (The tire is noticebly low. Like I wasn't going to drive my car again til I got it fixed low.)

Walmart Lady: Where's the hole at?

Me: Um? In the rubber part? (Honestly, do I look like someone who knows anything about cars? Isn't that her job? I'm pretty sure the heels, dangly earrings and fake nails should have clued her in that I know less than nothing about cars!)

Walmart Lady:Okay. I'll be right back.

10 minutes later....

Walmart Lady: Well the hole must be sitting on the concrete. Because I can't see it.

Me: Um. Okay?

Walmart Lady: I'm going to take another look.

Now by this point I'm really pissed off. Because seriously WTF???? She couldn't have gone out there once and been done??? Isn't that what she gets paid for anyways, to figure out what's wrong?? I mean the only reason I'm here is because this is what my dad told me to do. Not to play 20 questions with car lady.

8 minutes later...

Walmart Lady: Okay, you want them rotated as well, right?


Walmart Lady: How do you want those rotated?

Me: Ummmm....I don't there more than one way?

Walmart Lady: *Huge Sigh* Yes.

Honestly?!?!?! You can get your tires rotated different ways?!?!? I had no idea. But of course this lady expects me to know this and proceeds to shove her little digital thingy in my face. Which of course has three pictures of tires with arrows going all different directions. I was more lost than I was before. I seriously debated doing ennie meenie minie moe. But of course this grandma behind me is even way more irritated then I am at this lady. And she's beginning to look violent...

Me: Um...the top one.

Walmart Lady: Front to back?

Me: Sure.

Walmart Lady: Okay. I'll be right back.

Me: Seriously?

Walmart Lady: (Completely missing my sarcasm) Yes.

WTF?!?!?!?!?! Another effing trip out to my car! You have got to be sh*tting me. My car isn't even clean, it's not brand new. There is nothing to look at. She'd already been out there 4 times!!! Mind you, I'm standing out in the garage where she keeps opening the door and leaving it open and it happens to be barely above freezing. So it's not like she's even enjoying sun or warm weather when she's out there doing god knows what.

10 minutes later...

Walmart Lady: They'll let you know if they can't patch your tire as soon as they get it in. They'll page you when it's done.

Me: Okay.

Walmart Lady: Your estimate is 20 dollars.

Me: Thanks.

Walmart Lady: Can I have your keys?

Me: I gave them to you first thing.

Walmart Lady: *Frantically searching in her pockets, to reveal that they are located in her coat*Ohhh.

So I walk quickly away from this exceptionally bright girl, so that I might not smack her. I walk around Walmart for about an hour or so and pick up a few things. A few things that consist of all of the Saw movies for 20 dollars and 3 magazines. So I walk up to the checkout lane to pay and go wait on my car. And my particular Walmart is filled with way too talkative people. No joke. I once had to listen to lady's story about what she did the night before and it was just her watching movies by herself. But mainly how she had to put her little girl to bed first before she could watch them cause they were scary movies. Apparently she had the mistaken impression that she was talking to someone who cared. This time it's a guy who just so happens to love the Saw movies.


Me: *Seriously wanting to scream in Walmart* In electronics.

Walmart Guy: Which aisle did you get it in?

Me: Um...the last one?*Like I really remember by this point, I've been through the whole store. And, um, doesn't he work here? Shouldn't he know this stuff??*

Walmart Guy: I LOVE THESE MOVIES!!! Are you going to see the 6th one in theaters?!?! Because I am, I've seen them all in theaters!!!

Me: *By now I'm seriously thinking this guy must get ideas from these movies* No. *even though I totally am*

I then quickly pay and go back to wait for my car. Which doesn't get done for another hour. I'm so traumatized, I'm not sure I'll ever go back. Okay, that's a lie. I mean, it's Walmart right. They have everything!!!


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Presenting Lulu...

So I had no idea how to start this whole blogging thing and introductions are so tedious and boring to write (and read). So I asked my mom, who just happens to be Spot of . I know, the Spot. She's almost famous. And because she loves me and took pity on me she decided to help me out by "interviewing" me. So here goes~

Spot: So Lulu, thanks for having me over. *looks around* What a nice place you have here. Some computer genius must have designed this layout.

Me: Ohhh. You noticed? Well thank you. I happen to be fabulous at this computer stuff. *Nose grows* Okay. So actually my fantastic mother did this for me. You might've heard of her.

Spot: I just might have! So, tell me about your odd and extremely strange living arrangements. And why you'd want to move out of a perfectly nice house and leave a fantastic mother behind??

Me: I moved to live with my boyfriend Dexter up in Iowa. We live with two other guys Lance and Josh. Yes very odd. Kinda nice sometimes though, it's like having three boyfriends. Although, it's also three times the mess. Guess who cleans up?  And you totally spoil me more since I moved out. :)

Spot: So did I mention that your mother is a fantastic cook and you're probably going to starve to death now since you can't cook? I mean you once burned soup right?

Me: Yes. I did burn soup once and that will probably be a blog about the reasons I should not be allowed in the kitchen. But you know that all my roomates can cook. Maybe not as good as you but still good.

Spot: Okay, okay. Moving tell me why you decided to write a blog *whispers "copycat" under her breath*

Me: Because I want to prove that I am just as awesome as you. Just kidding. I live with three guys and most of the time it's five of them over here. So I have some very interesting stories.

Spot: So who do you think your biggest literary influences were?

Me:  Hmmm. Probably my teacher for high school. Ohhh. Wait that's you! Haha. But Jane Austen is my favorite author.

Spot: So...I guess you better tell us what your hobbies are...

Me: Ummmm. Hobbies...I think you have to get up before noon to have hobbies. But I like to read, and recently I've been a facebook addict. By the way, I'm kicking your butt on yoville.

Spot:  Um...that would be because some of us have other commitments, like Blogging. So your favorite color? Movie? TV show? Person?

Me: Maccaroni & Cheese (yes, it is a color in the crayola 128 box), Spongebob Seasons, Tina Fey.

Spot: What? Tina Fey? Does she make you pumpkin dump cake??! Does she Febreeze your room? I think not!  Fine. I'm done here. You have my blessings. Go forth and blog!!!